
This weekend we laid my grandma to rest, placed in the Carver family plot. This is where my grandfather, his parents, his grandparents, and an aunt and uncle are with a large tombstone displaying all the names, Carver inscribed at the base declaring the family name. On the other side of the cemetery is my grandmother’s family plot with her parents and grandparents awaiting future family to join.
Though likely much more common in past generations, I don’t know that you see this very often anymore. Yes spouses will be together, but not multiple generations like this. As we spoke and reminisced about my grandma, this theme of family as well as unconditional love was woven throughout.
This strong sense of family goes back generations, with many photos displayed and in the slide show revealing multiple generations and extended family. There would be picnics, trips to the beach, and parties. I remember many celebrations at my grandparents where everyone would come, aunts, uncles, and cousins, for birthdays, anniversaries, and always Thanksgiving and Christmas. Many times there would be 20+ people in attendance. Although we lived 5 hours away, we would be sure to be there about 5-6 times a year, most definitely for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Everyone was welcomed by my grandma who had a love for all. It was interesting listening to the pastor who was friends with her kids as he spoke about I Corinthians 13, the love chapter. He spoke of how my grandma fully embodied each of these characteristics, and though I always loved her and had no doubt of her love for me, I never thought of it. She was the full representation of this love of Christ, accepting and encouraging. There would be many times my cousins (who lived much closer than we did) would bring a friend or two for dinner, and any girlfriend or boyfriend present at Christmas would also receive a gift from her. Both of my grandma’s were very accepting of all, a wonderful heritage to have and follow.
Though this weekend was very normal for us in getting to see family, it was severely lacking in what we could do. Though we had a wonderful time visiting, we left feeling a little lost and uncertain of how to say goodbye. The expectation was always that we would return to grandma and grandpa’s and visit a while longer, playing games and at some point the instruments would come out and we would sing. Saying goodbye would include hugs and many would gather at the door to wave each time someone left. But Covid has robbed us of these things, leaving us lost and wanting.

As we listened to stories about Grandma and looked at the pictures, the love my grandparents had for each other was so apparent. Grandpa often looked so proud to have her on his arm, and Grandma, if not looking at the camera, was looking lovingly at him. There was no doubt in our minds that they adored each other. We heard the story again of how they met on a blind date, and how my great great grandmother noticed the look on Grandpa’s face when he saw he and said “uh oh”. The rest was history.
As I think about this legacy of love and family that my grandparents and their parents have left for us (from both sides really as my moms mom loved having her family around as well) I consider what we are writing for our own children. Are we writing a story of unconditional love and acceptance where family is of great importance? What are we instilling in their hearts? Is it the legacy we are wanting to leave or do we need to make some adjustments in our busy lives to make a point of these things.