This morning was unlike most mornings where I was able to take my time getting ready, not having to call anyone, not having to make sure the kids were getting out of bed so we could leave on time, not calling for the tenth time to find out they’re still in bed. I showered and got ready peacefully, listening to Christian music as I went, enjoying music I hadn’t heard in a while.
Then I came upstairs and noticed immediately the dishes left out by the kids who had gone in early to church with Josh. The dishwasher was dirty and nearly empty, but of course they didn’t load them into the dishwasher, no, I had to do that. I wasn’t very happy about this since I had spent time the day before cleaning in the kitchen amongst other places.
After getting ready I then made my way to the front door only to discover that the things I asked to go into the vehicle last night for delivery were still at the front door. So I then made multiple trips to the vehicle to load it up, barely able to get things into the passenger seat as our eldest parked it too close to the truck so I couldn’t open the door.
After finally loading things up I locked up and went to get into the car only to find that she didn’t put the seat back after last using it and as I always do when it’s not put back, I hit my knees getting in.
By this time I was very frustrated, angry at all the things that had gone wrong. I called Josh to grump, to vent about all my misfortunes of the morning only to have him not be able to hear me, which only added to my frustration.
I turned my music on as I drive, opting for the Petra praise in the cd player. I pondered my morning as I drove, and how my morning had turned so quickly. I had gone from going well to me being upset. I despise getting angry and do it more often than I’d like.
I chastised myself for being here once again and was trying to realign myself to where I should be, praying for help when I went through the Starbucks drive through as I often do Sunday mornings. I was so looking forward to my white peppermint mocha, decaf, coconut milk, with no whip or curls when I was surprised by hearing the person ahead of me had paid for my drink.
I drove away saying a word of thanks to God and this stranger ahead of me for this blessing on such a day when I’d be angry when I clearly heard God say “I forgive you.”
This made me pause, startled by this word. So often are we so hard on ourselves, willing to beat ourselves up over messing up again when God is ready and willing to offer up his forgiveness. All we need to do is ask and accept this gift he has for us that can turn our day around, just as this gift of coffee and forgiveness did for me this morning.