I was chatting with one of my littles yesterday about her height, or lack thereof, and where she will likely be when she’s done. We’ve had this discussion before, making her aware that she will always be on the shorter side, trying to help her accept this since she was in preschool.
She was always the shortest, barely able to reach the taps while on a stool. She didn’t like being short and so we tried to make light of it a bit and I guess set her expectations low for her final stature. Our hope was to help her accept something that she could not change or control.
A couple of years ago one of her siblings said something that upset her after learning her younger sister was now taller than her, and we had a good heart to heart on the stairs. We talked about how she felt, what I felt about it (I love her height, it’s part of what makes her her!), and about the bonuses of being shorter. I tried to convince her with different thoughts, but I couldn’t, as it’s up to her how she deals with it.
Fast forward a couple of years and it’s just the two of us in the car on our way home from school. Her height came up again and we talk. Her sister has been taller now for a couple of years, though not by much, and had been a sore spot for her. This time her response blew me away as she said she was okay with it now. She decided she needed to just accept it and be okay with it because it would make her life so much easier.
I was impressed by her maturity and outlook in this, that she was able to turn things around simply by changing her mindset. She knew there was nothing she could do to change it and so decided to accept it.
I could definitely learn a thing or two from this girl. How many things in my life do I fight, struggle with that are beyond my control? I fret about things as if I could change them, as though they were in my control.
It’s really interesting though, the lack of height that she so despised is something that I love about her! I love that she’s so petite, that she takes after some of our extended families that I adore.
And so I wonder, these things that I hate about myself, what do others think about them? That which I loathe but cannot change, do others even notice? Or does it affect what they think of me at all?
Her wisdom is something that we should aim for, to accept, and even embrace as she is now able, the way we were made, what we were created to be.